Giving a meaningful, moving eulogy can be a nerve-wracking commitment for even the most accomplished public speakers, but it need not be. How can you summarize somebody’s life in a few short minutes, while being both somber and light at the same time? Writing and delivering a eulogy is a therapeutic tool to help deal with your grief, and being chosen to give a eulogy is an honor and should be treated that way. Here are some tips for writing and delivering an eloquent and memorable eulogy.
- Gather information. Talk with family members, close friends and co-workers to get important information about the deceased. Some important information to include in the eulogy is the persons family and other close relationships, their education/career, hobbies or special interests, places the person lived or traveled too, and their life time accomplishments.
- Organize your thoughts. Prepare your ideas by whatever means are most comfortable and familiar to you. Create an outline of your speech, and fill in the information that you have gathered.
- Write it down. This is not a toast at a wedding where you can make off the cuff remarks, and you should not ad lib a eulogy. Writing it all down allows you to include and remember every detail you wanted in your eulogy. When you bring your copy of the eulogy to the podium make sure it is easy to read, print it out in a large font, or if hand-written leave a few spaces between the lines. Keep in mind your time constraints, it’s best to keep things on the short side, especially if there are other speakers.
- Review and Revise. Your first draft will not be the last. When you think you are done, sleep on it and look it over in the morning when it is fresh again, that will be the time to make any necessary revisions.
- Practice, Practice, Practice. Read over your eulogy several times in order to become familiar with it. Practice in front of a mirror, read it over to some friends or family and have them give you feedback. Become familiar with your speech so you can recite it without making it look like you’re reading from a script. The more you practice the more comfortable you will be.
- Make them laugh, but be respectful. A funeral is not a roast, however there is room for humor in your eulogy. Fondly remember a story about the person that everyone can relate too. Keep it appropriate, there will be children and the elderly there that may not share the same sense of humor. Laughter is truly the best medicine, and some well placed humor will help people cope, and will bring back fond memories of the deceased.
- Don’t be afraid to show emotion. Funerals are an extremely emotional event, nobody expects you not to shed a few tears. However, if you feel that you will be too strongly overcome by your emotions, have a back-up plan in place where someone you trust can deliver the eulogy for you. Give them a copy well in advance if you feel this could be an issue.
- Have a glass of water as well as tissues handy.
More than merely a 'good-bye' to your loved one, an obituary serves as notification that an individual has passed away and details of the services that are to take place. Remember that the obituary needs to appear in print a few days prior to the celebration of your loved one’s life. Give some consideration to the guidelines below and rely on our experience to assist you when composing the obituary.
What To Include?
Naturally, it is vital that the full name, along with the location and date of passing is included so that there is no confusion over whom has died. You may wish to consider placing a photograph (which can appear as black & white or in color depending on the newspaper's layout) with the text. In a concise manner, write about the significant events in the life of your loved one. This may include the schools he or she attended and any degrees attained; you may also include any vocations or interests which they were involved with.
It is common to include a list of those who have survived your loved one. The list should include (where applicable): Parents, Spouse, Children, Grandchildren, Great Grandchildren, Siblings and Grandparents
At this point list the details of the time and location of all visitation periods and services for your loved one: this should include the address of where these events are to take place.
At the Malcolm, Deavitt & Bimhammer Funeral Home our Professional Director’s will be of great assistance to your family if required to ensure that the obituary written for your loved one reflects the life they have lived.